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Category / Depression

Changeing Gravity

Have you ever laid flat against the ground and feel as if gravity was holding you down? Sometimes I forget how much I distract myself from myself. Just a few moments alone with my thoughts is enough to send warm tears down the sides of my head. I feel somber. My mind is so very clear, but the […]

Days of Birth

An old story that I have told many times now. I stay up late, it is my birthday, and am lost in my head. I’ve said this before, but I think it is important to say, again and again, I did not expect to live this long. I am almost thirty, I truely believed without […]

Still Breathing

The holidays never seem easy. Nights grow longer and colder and so does my heart. I want to sleep…I never want to wake up from my dreams. As I lay in bed, loneliness and depression fall over me like a blanket. I’ve wasted nights like this. Still, I must wake up eventually. No matter how […]

Days Blur

Days blur together for me. I can go a long time without really doing anything. Spending each day like a robot. Then all at once it hits me. Loneliness suffocates me. I wonder why I let things get this way, I blame myself. I lack self-confidence and lack the self-confidence to build more confidence. If I am to […]

Time moves forward.

I have not written anything here for a little while. I’ve been unsure what to write. I write to make myself feel better but part of me also writes for a bit of validation. Not that I seek attention, but rather I just want people to know. I don’t even need people to understand, just […]

Camping with Mental Health Issues.

Growing up my parents would pack me and my two siblings up to go camping every year. It was always over a weekend and we have a family reunion in between. When I was little I really enjoyed the experience but as I grow into a moody teen I set up a PlayStation in a […]

The story of my life

If anyone where to look back on my life I would want them to see me. Not some mocked up version of my praises. My imperfections and faults make up who I am just as much as anything I did right in my life. I spent my childhood hiding away, scared of the world. It […]

Pills in Hand

Yesterday I dumped my medicine into my hands. Pills in hand I studied there weight. I did not feel depressed, thoughts of suicide did not cross my mind. I just wanted to know what they felt like. It was such a surreal urge I can’t forget it. I then looked online for the overdose information […]

Cut and run

Tonight I ran. Mist filled the air, covering my glasses. Music filled my headphones. It was dark and solitary. I could feel the mist on my skin and the movement of my body. I was huffing and out of breath but it was completely peaceful. I could enter a space in my head without malice […]

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