Can I love Myself?

self hate

I am incapable of loving myself. I have no respect for my own life, or my own body. I used to spill my own blood without regard for myself. I allow my body to be burned, hurt, and insides  rot. I have very little that am prideful for. My self esteem is something I let be dragged on the ground. If I can’t love myself, can I truly love anyone else?
I had a rather silly dream. A gunman was threatening others and with no care to my own life I stood up to him proving he was incapable of shooting anyone. I was praised as brave, but such praise only hurt me. The truth was I stood up to the gunman because I simply wanted him to kill me.  

2 thoughts on “Can I love Myself?

  1. I’d jump in joy if I were in such a situation. If only someone pulled the trigger for me!

    But, actually, it’s easy to love others when you hate yourself. Idolizing is just as easy it’s demonizing. It’s harder to be loved when you don’t love yourself, unless you’re a master conformist.

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