After some bloodwork I have found my triglycerides are high. It’s hardly that much of a surprise but does put me at rick for heart disease. I need to take care of myself but it’s hard to find the motivation when I can barely find the motivation to stay alive at times. My mental health has been on rocky roads for the past month. Death and suicide have passed my mind more then I would like. Perhaps am simply killing myself the long way round.

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