Henry David Thoreau once wrote in his book Walden “Public opinion is a weak tyrant compared with our own private opinion. What a man thinks of himself, that is which determines, or rather indicates, his fate.”
I have always had poor self confidence. My own self opinion has caused more damage to me then any bully, rather i am my own bully. When you set out an action with failure in mind, you are more likely to fail. Such thoughts bind you and weigh you down. It’s easy to make myself feel stupid, and ugly. I second guess every word i speak, if i speak at all. I could never speak to a girl, make friends, try new things. Sometimes i just want a hug, to have my existence acknowledged.
Who to you gain confidence? Its hard to say for sure, self esteem can often be elusive to people who suffer mental illness. However, i can say for me, whats turned me from an emotional wreak to functional is practice. Practice brings confidence in anything you do. The first time i try a new recipe i have no confidence in it, i worry about every little bit of it and it takes me at least twice as long to make it as anyone else. However the more i make that dish, the more it becomes second nature, i no longer even think about it anymore and just move. Failure hurts, it always does, but if you get second chance, or even a third, fourth, or fifth chance, you will succeed and soon your success will out weigh your failure.