Am i a Coward?

Fear rules my life, it has been in control of me for a very long time. Fear is the reason i only take paths i know, it is the reason i don’t meet anyone. Fear has kept me locked in my room for….i cant even remember. How long have i been in this room? Hiding, crying myself to seep. I look around and see many marks of my pain. Holes in the wall, old stains of blood i don’t want to wash away. Taking action is hard, and living this long has made me tired. Its always just one more step, just one more step away. I try, i really do. My life has been a challenge, was i really supposed to live this long?

No matter how far forward i get, there are still many steps ahead of me. I don’t want to be alone anymore. How is a person who is afraid to be around other people supposed to end his loneliness? That’s a question i’ve asked myself for a very long time. I’ve moved so far forward…so very far, but there is no end is there? That’s life, its always moving forward, even as i hide, as am scared, life moves forward.

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