Lonely and afraid

I always seem to write more the closer it gets to my birthday. Am lonely, there is simply no way past that fact, yet am still locked inside my room and space most days. Ill be 25 soon….25 and i have never had a real relationship. My social growth is slow, it nearly stopped after i dropped out of High School. Here i am, am still alive but i don’t know what to do.

I don’t mind being aimless, but the loneliness still hurts. How do i even start a relationship like this? In many ways am backwards  and simply afraid to move forward. Where do i go from here? I no longer want to die, but am i living? I spend everyday in a daze, lost in others story’s. My paychecks go to other worlds i can lose myself in. I just don’t want to be alone anymore.

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